Sunday, April 6, 2008

Behold, I do a new thing

I love variety. Change keeps my life exciting. I'm a medium risk taker so I am very familiar with the feeling of trying out something new. My problem is my heart forgets that feeling just as soon as I master the new newness.

It is very easy to give up on new's new. New is the land of "I don't know." You don't know how things are going to turn out or how they should turn out. You don't know how long any part of the process should take, and if you do, that idea was planted in your head by someone who's not you. Someone else's new is not the same new as mine.

I realized that trying something new is like waking up in the middle of the night in your new house, apartment or condo. You're committed to the place but you don't know yet how to maneuver to the bathroom in the dark yet. You have to turn on the lights to see where you are going until you put all your furniture where it's supposed to be and you know your place like the back of your hand. It's a good new, but new none the less.

This gives me hope that new can be good and even it takes a while to figure out my way around my dark house, it's still my house. Just because I don't know how to do the new things I'm trying doesn't mean I'm not committed to seeing it through.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I hate working out. I just wanted to preface this post with that fact. I don't know if I hate it more because it causes me pain or because I sweat. Ursh. But there is something I hate more. Not being able to fit my clothes, so working out has become the lesser of two evils.

It's a tight race. Some days, my hatred of sweat wins and I go straight to my office. Some days, my really nice New York & Company jeans remind me of how much weight I've gained. If I was running a count, I would say workout hatred is winning and the voter (me) goes to the polls three times a week.

But on a rare occasion, we have a recount. Today was a recount day. I woke up today at 6:45am and instantly made the decision not to work-out today. I began to console myself with reasons, good ones, too, of why I made the right decision. I had woke up earlier than normal and went to bed late last night. It was a dreary, rainy day. So what I hadn't worked out in more than three days. Today was a good day to take it easy.

I got out of bed and got dressed to take the children to the bus stop. Without thinking, I grabbed a pair of my New York & Company jeans and prepared to wiggle into them and to my surprise, they fit better than they did the last time I put them on. And I thought, this working out stuff is working. The jeans won the recount and I popped in the kickboxing tape. I'm celebrating with the jeans today. But Thursday will be a different story.