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Last week I had a nasty virus. Viral syndrome, my doctor
called it, which is just a cryptic way to say that a virus has infected more
than one system in your body. Mine was respiratory infection with a side of a stomach
bug. For the first two days, I didn’t know my name or what day it was. A fever
of 101.6 will do that for you.
But as I started to recover, my mind started working. I
found myself thinking about all things I wished I could be doing that I couldn’t.
I wanted to be singing at my church’s women’s conference, but I couldn’t. I
wanted to be writing but I couldn’t sit up in bed for more than a few minutes
at a time before breaking into long, painful coughing fits. I wanted to be
knitting, but I couldn’t.
Then my thoughts started to expand. I started thinking about
other things I wanted to do but wasn’t brave enough or didn’t have enough time
to do. Laying in bed unable to do anything made it really clear what I wanted
to do. It also made me wonder why I wasn’t doing it when I was healthy. To think
about what was really holding me back. I prayed, “Lord, when I get better, I’m
going to do the things you’ve put in my heart to do.”
Talk about clarity. I realized that all the things I delayed
in doing was for stupid reasons and I should just go for it. I realized that if
God put it in my heart to do, He’d help me do it. Unfortunately, I had to be
completely shut down to see how much I could actually do.
It was like I was
Sleeping Beauty waking up from the spell. I needed to be removed from my “normal”
life to see it in a different perspective. And now I’m thinking up a master
plan, but it took me getting sick to see clearly.
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