Thursday, October 25, 2012

Great Dates: Dating with Marriage in Mind

Today I’m beginning a new series called Great Dates. The purpose of this series is to give advice and tips on dating. These tips are not just for singles, but also for married people. Married people need to date, too. I will also share ideas for how to plan Girl’s or Guy’s Night Out.

Since this series is all about dating, I thought it wise that we start by laying some foundations on dating. The dating discussed here is for Christians. So what makes Christian dating different from regular ol’ dating? Not much except dates adhere to Christian standards (so no hookin’ up after the date, unless it's your spouse and then you can hook up all you want) and, particularly for singles, dating with marriage in mind.

This definition may be a little different than what most Christians have been taught. I’ve heard definitions from the very strict (Christians shouldn’t date at all) to the very loose (date as much as you like). I think a middle ground approach is better, dating with marriage in mind.

When you date with marriage in mind, I believe it removes some of the reckless, irresponsible, and random dating that is so prevalent now. When you date with marriage in mind, it gives your dates purpose. You’re trying to get to know if this person is marriage material. That’s the purpose. This requires more analysis of the person you’re dating.

Now I don’t mean that you should start talking about marriage the first date. This is a sure-fire way to get rid of a date or attract a stalker. I mean approaching the date as something that will grow into a more permanent relationship not a fling. You’re looking for qualities that make a great spouse, not a one-night stand.

This means dating solely for companionship shouldn’t be your main motivation for dating. Yes, companionship will come, but using dating as way to cure temporary loneliness isn’t the goal. Marriage in mind dating focuses on moving toward a something that will last longer than a few months.  

What are your views on Christian singles and dating? Do you agree with dating with marriage in mind?

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