Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Personalized Sheol

As a writer, sometimes when my imagination gets the best of me…okay, my imagination gets the best of me often. And it doesn’t take much to spark it.

For instance, last week, I made had my normal snack, peanut butter on wheat bread and a cup of tea. Well, the piece of bread I used (I don’t make a two-slice sandwich. One piece of bread folded in half with no jelly) was at the end of the loaf. I made the sandwich and then realized that the bread was a little stale.

Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than CHUNKY peanut butter on stale bread. I thought, if Sheol is personalized, I would have to eat stale bread and chunky peanut butter for all eternity. And that simple thing, peanut butter on stale bread, got my brain wondering what a Hell would be like if it was personalized.

So here is a picture of my personalized Hell. First I want to give a few disclaimers. First, I have no intention of going to Hell. I read Revelations. Beasts and chains and plagues and wars…yeah, I’m good. Don’t need to see that. Second, the worst part about Hell is being separated from God, which is the greatest tragedy anyone can face, in this life or the next.

But if Hell was personalized, this is what mine would look like:
• I would have to eat stale peanut butter sandwiches with nothing to drink
• I would have to give everyone in Hell a pedicure. I really don’t like feet.
• I would have to knit Fair Isle sweaters with mohair… or worse angora!
• I would only be able to travel by airplane and there would always be turbulence.
• There would be a library but no books, only computers for people to get on the internet.
• I would be on hold for tech support for all eternity.

What does your personal Sheol look like?

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