Are you satisfied/content?
That is the question my pastor posed last night in Bible study. He is known for hitting with powerful thought-provoking questions, but this one nearly floored me. Am I satisfied and content with my life? I think for most people, the answer would be no, and that might not be a bad thing. Sometimes our discontentment is the drive to improve some areas of our lives that have fallen into disrepair. Nothing wrong with a little “holy” discontent.
But when that question was presented, I didn’t feel holy discontent. It was whinny, ugly, soul-degrading discontent. It was the bad kind of dissatisfaction, which got me thinking about my life. Which, by the way, I think the whole point of the exercise. God was using ALL things, whether it be holy discontent or not, for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And I definitely fall into that category.
The question was still ringing in my ears this morning as I walked my son to the bus stop. The morning was crisp but not cold, as the Northeast is on fall’s doorstep. The sun was shining and the tops of the trees, just starting to transform into their autumn color, swayed slightly. As I walked, another question popped into my mind.
What’s really wrong with my life?
Yes, I have ten tons of complaints about my life, but really, is it so bad? I have a husband who adores me, and even though he’s had to adore me from Afghanistan for the past nine months, the separation has made our relationship stronger. I have great kids despite the fact that they drive me bananas every now and then (but what children don’t drive their parents crazy every now and then). I don’t have a job, but I have everything I need. And God has blessed me with a life that I can pursue my dreams of publication. Most of all, I have a relationship with God, which far outweighs all that I think I want or need.
That’s the funny thing about discontentment. It blinds you from the things that you do have, the blessings God has already given you. It makes you feel incomplete, when you actually have more than you could every want or need.
Now did I get completely delivered from all my discontent this morning? No, but I have gained a new perspective on my life and that perspective has lessened my discontent considerably. I have a good life and I think if you look close enough, you’ll realize you have a good life, too. A good, satisfying life.